It's very common when someone says no that one feels pain. Whether the "no" is to a marriage, or a group, or a workshop (my situation here) or even a birthday party...when you hear "no, I can't make it" or "no, I don't want to" what do you feel? What if you questioned that thought? What if it was OK to hear a no or a yes, equally? Who would you be without the story of NO?
It can be mean to try to make yourself different than you are. I've had a lot of people come to me to be facilitated through self-inquiry in order to change themselves (not other people). But who would you be without the belief you need to be different in order to be more successful, or happier?