Ten years ago, I thought I needed more money so badly...there would be terrible consequences if I didn't get more. The worst that could happen, i thought, was having to go live with my mother. I did The Work on that future, terrible imagined situation and found, maybe if it went that way, it would be the best that could ever happen. I felt lightness and joy about the future, after I did that work. And I never moved in with my mother.
Those people who say "no" well seem to be confident, sure of themselves, great leaders, clear! But maybe you can say no, in your own less-perfect way. Here are some sentences you can practice for saying "no" and getting more comfortable. You didn't know how before, and with rehearsing, you get better and better.
Byron Katie mentions when we believe our thoughts, we suffer, and when we question them, we don't. Who would you be without your story of making a mistake, or that other person making one? How strange (but interesting, and a relief) to find something good coming out of these so-called "mistakes" and the freedom from guilt. It's kinder.